Blissfully Sardonic

Stephenie Meyer: New Moon October 5, 2008

New Moon begins with Bella turning 18, a birthday she’s dreaded since realizing her boyfriend could not get any older than 17.  This causes her outlook towards her birthday to be quite unenthusiastic, and kind of makes the day with Edward, Alice, and everyone else hard to watch because you know she is going to push them away.  She is unable to convince Alice to keep from throwing her a birthday party, which ends up being the final straw in the dangerous relationship she has with the Cullens.

Edward and the rest of the Cullens leave, intent on letting Bella have a normal life, though most know this may be harder on her than Edward is willing to believe.  Bella crashes, and crashes hard.  She becomes a “living zombie”, never doing anything more than what is required to get her through the day.  It becomes difficult for her to survive and she has what she calls ‘trouble breathing’.  This concerns anyone who notices, at first, but eventually, her pain is too much for anyone to tolerate.

Bella discovers that the only way to numb the ache is to do dangerous things, something she promised she would never do.  Her new sidekick is Jacob, and he is willing to do anything to get to spend time with Bella.  She discovers that when she does these things, she hears Edward’s voice.  Eventually, she does something completely idiotic that ends up nearly causing the death of the one she holds dear.

It’s a painful book to read the first time through because you’re experiencing all of the raw emotions that Bella is going through.  Heartbreak is painful, and Stephenie did a wonderful job writing it with such intensity as to let us in on the pain that Bella goes through.  Some people have trouble reading this book because it is intensely depressing throughout much of it, but it is also worth any pain that you endure because it does show you what the ordeals of love can cause and lets you know that love is always worth the risk of heartache.

Rating: 5 Stars

Stephenie Meyer: Twilight October 4, 2008

Twilight is breathtakingly spectacular from the very first page until the close.  Seeing Bella go through the motions of being a high school student, while also being in love is incredible.  It makes you wish for more, as you finish each page.

Bella basically feels that she is a girl of unremarkable beauty who has decided to move to the small town of Forks, Washington to give her mom a taste of a normal life.  Bella hates Forks from the beginning, like many teenagers would hate a new hometown, especially a small one, after living in such a sprawling city like Phoenix.  Bella finds herself attracted to Edward, though she can’t seem to grasp why.  She finds out, though, that he does not seem to share this attraction for her.  Bella feels like she is responsible for his disappearance, and seems partly glad to be “rid” of him, though at the same time she misses him, even though she doesn’t know him.

As the story progresses, Bella begins to experience love for the first time, and romance for the first time.  She also opens Edward’s life to what it’s like to experience these things, though he is remarkably hesitant because he is in fear for her safety.  It’s kind of annoying how fearful he is when it comes to protecting her, but it’s also amazing at the same time that he cares so much for her.

Their lives intertwine and open to one another to the point that they push each other to the most inevitable step in a relationship…complete and utter danger.  With their lives on the line, though one is slightly more immortal and unbreakable than the other, they discover how much they truly need each other and how much they will do to protect the other one.  It is in these times that they are defined as heroes, even if at other moments they seem weak.

It is a beautiful love story, and it is remarkable to see it unfold.  I was so glad to see a book that shows such a heartfelt story to young people, and yet isn’t boring for those of us who are just a little too old to really be appreciative of it.

Rating: 5 Stars

Rihanna: A Girl Like Me

It’s playful, but a bit unfulfilling.

SOS is fun, playful, though I found it very annoying.  It’s redundant, moreso than it needs to be.  It does not progress.  It’s also childish.  Kisses Don’t Lie starts off like a sing song type tune.  It progresses quite well and is more mature than SOS.  It is still able to be considered fun, though being more soulful.  It seems like it would be easy to dance to with a catchy hook.

Unfaithful is both beautiful and sad.  The lyrical content is lovely, a bit poetic, but some people seem to take the murderer lines a little too seriously.  The background is also gorgeous.  It’s easy to see why this song was a single.  It is beautifully symbolic and very mature.  We Ride is very interesting, but the background clashes with her voice and makes it difficult to listen to.  Perhaps a different background would have been more appropriate.  It reminded me of Destiny’s Child, only it seemed to be more childish.

Dem Haters had kind of an island feel, which made it fun.  It was bland in some spots, though, but overall was a pretty good song.  Final Goodbye, on the other hand, was a very pretty song, but was very sad.  It almost seemed like it could be a funeral song, except some might think it was inappropriate to play a Rihanna song at a funeral.  It was very solemn, and beautifully written.

Break it Off had some more of the island feel, which made it more danceable.  It was kind of juvenile, though.  Crazy Little Thing Called Love also had the same feel that Dem Haters and Break it Off had, and seemed appropriate for teens falling love, but not grown ups.

Selfish Girl continued the island feel.  It was an interesting sound, but her voice was too whiny in the song.  She sounds like a spoiled brat, instead of a selfish girl.  It sounds like something a five year old could have come up with.  PS (I’m Still Not Over You) has a bit of the sing song tone to it, but it’s a better song than some of the stuff on her album.  It is, unfortunately, too quickly paced for the content, and seems like something you’d find on the back half of a Britney Spears album.  It’s cute, but it definitely could have been better.

A Girl Like Me starts beautifully, but quickly it becomes obvious that it’s going to get worse as it goes on.  When the tempo picks up, it seems completely out of place in terms of what a good song is supposed to sound like.  Just too quick to be good, and makes her seem like she’s in a rush.  A Million Miles Away starts lovely and sounds romantic to someone not paying close enough attention, but is a bit sad when you begin to look into the deeper meaning of the words.  She showcases her voice quite well.  My only complaint is her enunciation on some of the words.  If It’s Lovin’ That You Want - Part Two  is another dance song.  It has a bit of a bitter and unfulfilling beginning.  It gets a little better.  The lyrics are a bit childish and a little annoying.

The album is okay.  Nothing too special, but the ballads are awesome.  It’s a little boring, but much of it is childish.  It sounds like it was written for kids, but marketed to adults.  I don’t know if I’d recommend it.

Rating: 3 Stars

Duffy: Rockferry

This album was basically a unique voice, experiencing so much pain, but doing it in a lovely manner.

The title song was not ideal for a starting song.  It was a little annoying and bland.  Warwick Avenue is a strong song, despite it’s somewhat depressing tone.  It’s like a song you’d find at a pivotal moment in a musical.  The message is gorgeously portrayed.  Serious is kind of like a dreamlike or trancelike song.  It’s kind of light at first.  It probably would have been a better first song than Rockferry.

Stepping Stone kind of echoes the sounds of the great Carole King.  Very good message to girls, and it’s a good girl power song without being bubblegum.  Syrup and Honey starts off kind of with a sing-song sound.  It was cute, but it still continues the blues sound.  Not as strong of a character built by Stepping Stone.  It sounds cute, but the message is lacking.  Hanging On Too Long is another song about a girl who is clingy.  A little bit stronger than the previous track, and focuses on the strength and range of her voice.

Mercy is upbeat.  It is clear why this was chosen as the first single, but does not represent the album at all.  It’s fun and clearly written and performed.  It is an interesting blend of pop and blues, and sounds like it could have come from the 50’s, 60’s, and today because of the mixture of sounds.  Delayed Devotion is another song that seems to have a hint of Carole King in it.  It’s kind of like stepping into a sad moment in a 70’s sitcom or comedic movie.  It’s pretty, but a bit unoriginal soundwise.  The lyrics are cute, though.

I’m Scared sounds like it comes from the 60’s.  It’s kind of lilty, though; while simultaneously being a bit sad.  It sounds like more of the classic clinginess that is present on this album.  It makes me wonder if she has self-esteem issues.  She sounds like she gets too attached.  Distant Dreamer sounds like it comes from a 60’s or 70’s musical.  It’s pretty and very open-spirited, but it is too beautiful to be on the album.  It doesn’t fit with the sad tone of most of the songs.  It’s very optimistic for an album of pessimism.

The songs sound great, but it’s too much of a mixture of messages.  She seems to be skipping from clingy to hopeful to independent and back to clingy.  The album makes her sound too flighty as a person.

Rating: 4 Stars

The Ex List: 1.01 - Pilot

Bella visits a psychic at her sister’s Bachelorette Party.  She finds out that she has to marry within a year or be single forever…the catch?  Well, she has to marry an ex-lover.  Bella begins going through a list of ex-boyfriends, and finds some have “moved on” in their own ways.

The psychic is absolutely hilarious, but Bella is a bit annoying.  She is so sure of herself half the time and then shockingly she becomes unable to decipher even the simplest things.

When she discovers that the first ex she tries to reconnect with has moved on by writing a song about her, she halfway deserves the cruel song that was written about her, for her past behavior.  She does not, however, deserve the cold shoulder he gives her.  When the first ex comes back, it’s pretty hot, but he just kind of melts into the old loser that he was and you remember why she didn’t completely deserve the song.  He became overly sensitive and painfully annoying.  He’s too much of a weird, clingy type.

She is absolutely hilarious, when she is trying to push him away by basically mimicking him.  It’s funny that he kind of “falls” for her behavior, even though that’s the opposite of what she wants.  Of course, then she’s back to being weirdness over her support of his music, especially how he wants to use her for a muse.

There is a bit of a hint about who she should be with in the episode, but it’s not the guy that she is pursuing.  It’s her most recent ex-boyfriend, Elliot.  He is truly the one for her, but doesn’t seem to want to be the one.  He obviously still cares about her, and she cares for him.

It was interesting and a bit campy.  I think it might survive mid-season, but it may not make it longer than that because CBS has such “high” standards for it’s programming and it makes any new program hard to survive, even if it is really good.

Rating: 4 Stars

Live Free or Die Hard October 3, 2008

It was very action packed, which can be okay. It did not have enough dialogue, though, which bugged me. It was like the writers wanted to make a movie, but didn’t want to spend much time on an actual script. 

Though seeing Bruce Willis taking on bad guys is interesting, it just isn’t as much fun as it used to be. He can still take on the action hero role. He just didn’t have much to work with this time. 

The acting was okay. I’ve seen better, not from these actors, but that’s okay. I didn’t expect to see spectacular acting, but I thought it would be more fun. This was not as fun as previous installments. 

I normally cannot stand the bad guys in things, but the best scenes throughout most of the movie were the ones with them. Their acting was less dry. The best non-villain acting was Justin Long. 

I kind of wondered when this movie would end. It felt like it would prolong my suffering if it kept going the way it was going…and that was just 45 minutes into it. Normally, I can suspend reality for a movie and not pull my hair out trying to figure out why so much blatant stupidity is going on. Alas, this was different. I was about to scream or die from the utter pain of watching a crappy movie. 

Of course, I was very happy to see Kevin Smith. He can always be counted on for a good time. He may not be the best actor in the world, but at least he’s cool. 

Apparently, if you’re a guy or “middle-aged”, this movie is awesome, but if you’re a young woman like me, then it’s probably not going to be your cup of tea. My advice is to stay away unless you’re 100% sure that you’re going to love it after all is said and done. Even if you’re sure that you’re going to love it, you’ll probably just barely like it.

Rating: 1 Star

Katy Perry: One of the Boys

I was expecting that I would only like the hit single “I Kissed a Girl” when I got this CD. Little did I know that that was one of the weakest songs of the album. I figured that “Ur So Gay” would be one of the worst songs on the album, but it’s actually one of the better ones. It’s really amazing that Perry was able to blend such enthusiasm and talent with styles from the sixties, eighties, and today to make an interesting album.

The best song on the album is “I’m Still Breathing”, a ballad, which is so gorgeously written, even though it is a bit depressing.  It’s not too breathy, but it does have a little raspy sound to it, which allows it to sound very mature and saddening. I think the word poetic would not be misused on this song.

It is not a homophobic album, despite what many may believe.  The “homophobic” lyrics are said in a very tongue-in-cheek manner, and seem to be meant as a joke and not as a slur.  They are just a girl having fun and letting people know what’s on her mind.

Despite what some may think, she is not the next Avril or Alanis.  Yes, she is a bit sardonic, but it’s more of a laughing sardonicism, whereas theirs tend to be the more seriously angry kind.

The album is fun, and not to be missed! Don’t just go into it expecting it to suck because you either liked or hated the first song. It’s actually a lot more complex than the one song. It’s an experience that you will not regret having had.

Rating: 5 Stars

Blissfully Sardonic opens!

Blissfully Sardonic is my review site.  It is not just for one particular type of thing or genre.  It is for anything that I encounter offline.  I do not intend to do website reviews, nor will I be doing any political commentary on here.

Blissfully Sardonic is going to be based on 5 stars reviews, ranging from 1 star where I loathed it to 5 where I loved it.  Some of my reviews will be happy.  Some will be annoying.